A New Love Or The Old Flame
by Jacob's Owner
Summary: Set in New Moon. After Bella is crushed by Edward she tries to move on, but someone from the past is trying to change her path. Will the remaining Cullens be able to save Bella, or will she fall for Jasper's tricks? Read more inside ;3
1. Birthday Surprise

**This takes place in New Moon ********. My first fanfic and it's just an idea me and a friend had, so please, be as honest as possible so I can get better. You readers will get a say in the story, but for now, it's mine!..I mean ours!! Enough rambling, read on...**

BPOV

As Edward pulled up in the drive I began to panic. Knowing Alice the inside of the house was going to be much worse than the outside. She had decorated the trees with hundreds of twinkling lights and placed streamers around the front door. I groaned.

"Bella, please, let Alice have her fun. This is the first birthday we've had to celebrate since Emmet's in 1935," Edward pleaded.

"It's going to be horrible and knowing my luck something bad is going to happen." I could see it now; I would end the night by falling over or doing something else equally as clumsy.

"Don't be such a pessimist Bella, everything will be fine. Your just overreacting. Besides, the sooner we go in, the sooner we get out." He was still trying to change my mind and get me to be happy about the party.

"Fine, you win. But I will remember this next time I want something." He moved round to the passenger side to let me out and scooped me up. Before i could blink we were at the door. He opened the door and then put me down so I could walk through myself. I started to walk through the door but my foot got caught on something and I dropped. Before i could hit the floor, Edward caught me. You could hear Emmet's booming laughter from where ever he was, laughing at my clumsiness. I blushed, annoyed with my two left feet.

"Bella!" Alice screamed. She launched herself at me almost causing me to fall over again. She pulled me up straight and started launching into what she wanted us to do for my 'special day'.

"First, Edward is going play for us, then we are going to play games, then it's time to open your presents and eat cake!"

As usual, she said all this without taking a breath. I hardly paid any attention to her rambling because i was too busy looking at what she had done inside the house. Whilst she was talking, we had moved into the front room. The first thing i saw was the big cake on the grand piano. It was white and had purple and pink flowers around the edge. It was also huge, though I was the only one eating.

The next thing i saw was the big stack of presents on the floor next the piano. I had told them no presents! What part of that didn't they understand! This was just asking for trouble. I quickly looked around to make sure Jasper was not there. If he was, I would have had a lot of explaining to do.

Once I knew I was safe to continue my thoughts the way I had before, I allowed myself to look at the rest of the room. I smiled. Alice had not gone all out in here. Instead she had just placed a few decorations here and there. It still looked horrible, but there was just enough for me to be able to grin and bear. There were also glass plates that most likely cost as much as the house itself. They sat on an oak table next to the piano.

"Thanks Alice, you shouldn't have" I lied.

"Don't be silly Bella, this is nothing compared to what I could do." My face must have shown my horror because she frowned. "Edward," she sounded frustrated with my reaction.

Edward was at my side in an instant. He pulled me over to the piano. He was seated before I knew and pulled me down to join him. He started playing. I felt like crying because it sounded so beautiful. The rest of his family made their way downstairs as he was playing. The only people that weren't there were Jasper, Esme and Carlisle.

It was a while before Alice decided she wanted to play games. She had set up the space we had for a game of Twister. Before I could protest she said "Bella, there is no way you are getting out of this." She smiled and then asked us what order we wanted to go in.

Emmet ended up having to go first after losing a game of rock, paper, scissors. Alice was second, Edward third and I was last. Rosalie did not want to play, opting to be the judge instead.

Each time we played, i was obviously the first one to lose, damn vampires. I got bored after a few games so I asked Alice if we could move onto the presents. She thought it was my eagerness that wanted to get to the presents quickly. If she wanted to think that, I would let her as long as it kept her off my back.

Sometime during the game, Jasper had slipped into the room. He didn't interact with me like the rest of his family, he chose to stay in a corner. I suspected that Edward also played a part in Jasper keeping away from me as I knew that he was the least controlled of my vampires.

"Which one am I opening first?" I asked, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"This one" Alice said as she shoved a silver wrapped box into my hand.

For a second, I just stared at it, willing it to open itself. When it wouldn't open itself, i slid my hand under a fold to open it. I pulled my finger across the fold to remove the tape. As I went to open the other side of the wrapping I felt myself being flung onto the ground. The glass plates Alice had placed on the table by the piano crashed to the floor. A searing pain shot through my arm when i hit the floor. I looked at the arm that caused me discomfort and wished I hadn't. Blood was pouring out from several places on my arm. I could feel pieces of glass stuck into me. I looked up to see why I was on the floor. Fear ran down my spine.


	2. Fear And Change

**Last Time**

_For a second, I just stared at it, willing it to open itself. When it wouldn't open itself, I slid my hand under a fold to open it. I pulled my finger across the fold to remove the tape. As I went to open the other side of the wrapping I felt myself being flung onto the ground. The glass plates Alice had placed on the table by the piano crashed to the floor. A searing pain shot through my arm when I hit the floor. I looked at the arm that caused me discomfort and wished I hadn't. Blood was pouring out from several places on my arm. I could feel pieces of glass stuck into me. I looked up to see why I was on the floor. Fear ran down my spine._

**BPOV**

Edward was crouched in front of me ready to spring. Emmet and Rosalie were trying to hold back someone but I couldn't see who. The person shifted to left and Edward mirrored their movement. Every time Edward moved, I would get a glimpse of the person but not enough to tell me who I was being protected from. I didn't have to see the person to know who it was though.

Suddenly something went flying into Edward. The sound of the two people colliding was terrifying, like boulders clashing together. He fell backwards onto me, pushing the glass deeper into my arm. I cried out, the pain was overwhelming. If I wasn't petrified I would have fainted from the blood already. Fear was the only thing preventing me from slipping into the safety of the darkness.

From underneath Edward I could see Jasper as he was being pulled out of the house by Rose and Emmet. His eyes were half crazed and he was snarling wildly. He looked like a vampire, not my kind, the kind you see in movies. The bad guys who kill the innocent people.

Even when he had left the room, you could still hear his struggle to get back to me.

The pain in my arm brought me back to the scene in the room. I tried moving but remembered Edward on top of me. As he hadn't moved since he landed on me I began to worry. I called his name "Edward." I tried again and again for the next few minutes. Tears were threatening to fall as more time passed.

I was getting hysterical when I felt a cool hand on my shoulder. I looked to see Carlisle with his medical bag. He bent down and gently lifted Edward off me. I thought he was going to deal with Edward first since he was his son but was surprised when he picked me up instead.

He gently carried me up the stairs into a room I had not been in before and set me down on a chair beside a steel table.

"Bella, how are you?" he asked.

I thought about his question for a moment before answering. "I'm fine," I lied. "Just a little shocked."

He thought to himself for a second before beginning to remove the shards of glass from my arms. For the next few minutes the only sounds in the room were my breathing, my heart and the glass shards clinking on the dish Carlisle placed them in. Once he was sure he had removed all traces of the glass from my arms, he wet a piece of gauze with something. The smell of the liquid burned in my nostrils. He then began to slowly and gently clean the blood from my hands and disinfect the wounds. Halfway through the cleaning process, Edward walked in with a pained look on his face.

I looked up at him and forgot about the pain for a moment. His beauty always took my breath away. By the time I had focused on the pain again, Carlisle was stitching up some of the cuts. To keep myself from fainting, I concentrated on Edward and what I would have to do to get him not to blame himself for what happened today because it wasn't his fault.

As usual, my clumsiness put me into a dangerous situation. If it was not for my lack of coordination, I wouldn't have cut myself on the wrapping paper. But then I thought that none of this would have happened if they had listened to me.

I banished the thought knowing they only wanted to do something nice for me.

I left my thoughts for later and found myself in Alice's room. I looked around for Edward but could not find him.

Alice was in her closet looking for something. She came out seconds later holding a shirt similar to the colour of mine; pale blue.

"Put this on," she commanded, "Charlie will have a heart attack if he sees your clothes the way they are now. By the time she had finished speaking the shirt was in my hand and she was leaving the room, closing the door behind her.

I looked down at the shirt in my hand and scowled. The style was way too girly for me but I knew Charlie would not notice the difference; he could be the most unobservant person when he wanted. I stood up and carefully removed my shirt, then replaced it with the one Alice had given me. With that out of the way, I went to sit back down on the bed. After a moment had passed, I began to wonder where Edward was and if he was ok.

Normally if I was hurt he would stay by my side, even if he was uncomfortable because of my blood. I began to get worried because I remembered the state he was in when Carlisle brought me up here. He wouldn't move when I called his name and Carlisle had to move him to get me seen to. Running over the events of today's party made me even more worried. Everything had started off as well as it could for someone with my luck.

Before I could think anymore I felt myself being lifted up off the ground. I looked up to see Edward's face and gasped. His face was a mix of emotions, but the one I could see most was determination.

Without a word, he carried me to my truck and placed me in the passenger seat. The he climbed in the other side and set off down the drive. We drove for a few minutes in silence before I got sick of it.

"Edward, talk to me. What's on your mind?" I asked to break the silence. I didn't want to know the answer because I knew it would upset me, but i needed to hear his voice.

I waited a while but still got no reply from him. "Edward," i tried again but he still didn't respond. I gave up and looked out of the windscreen. I was surprised that we were already outside my house but quickly got over it since I knew what Edward's driving was like.

I reached to open the door but it was already open. Edward held his hand out for me. I took it and got out of the truck. He walked me up to the door, still not bothering to talk. Once there he turned to face me and kissed me. I closed my eyes as he deepened the kiss. The kiss scared me because it felt wrong. Normally Edward was reserved, chaste. This kiss was passionate, as if it would be our last. After a few minutes, he pulled away as he usually did. He stared into my eyes for a moment then whispered in my ear.

"Go inside Bella. Get some sleep."

I wanted to protest but knew there was no point so I went inside the house. I said hi to Charlie then went upstairs before he could start a conversation with me. I walked into my room and grabbed my pyjamas before heading to the bathroom. 10 minutes and a hot shower later I was curled up in bed under the warm covers. I wanted to wait for Edward but knew I wouldn't stay awake. I fell into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Decisions

**I think I'm supposed to put a disclaimer on but I haven't been doing that so I'll do it now. **

**I don't own anything except my brain and body, maybe some other stuff but I'll get back to you on that.**

**Now, read on! (:**

**Last Time**

_I wanted to protest but knew there was no point so I went inside the house. I said hi to Charlie then went upstairs before he could start a conversation with me. I walked into my room and grabbed my pyjamas before heading to the bathroom. 10 minutes and a hot shower later I was curled up in bed under the warm covers. I wanted to wait for Edward but knew I wouldn't stay awake. I fell into a dreamless sleep._

**EPOV**

After I had dropped Bella off at her house, I ran back to mine faster than I could have believed possible. I was furious. The one place I truly believed she was safe in now proved to be just as dangerous as anywhere else. _How could he _I raged. Jasper. The brother I liked most. He understood my feelings for Bella better than anyone else yet he still attacked her. If it wasn't for Rose and Emmet she might not be at home safely now. I thought back to what had happened during the summer and shuddered.

"_Oh no, Bella, no!" Bella was lying crumpled on the floor. The scent of her blood filled the room. I snarled loudly and rushed to her side. I began to dry sob when I got close to her. She looked even more fragile than she normally did. I didn't know if she would survive an attack like this. I thought of what I wanted to do to James when I got my hands on him but turned my attention back to Bella. She needed me now. I tried to get to get her to talk to me. I just wanted to know she would make it. "Bella, please! Bella, listen to me, please, please, Bella, please!"_

I shied away from the memory before it became too painful, there had been too many occasions where I had almost lost Bella and I would not stand for it anymore.

I walked into the house with determination. I knew what had to be done and I would make sure it happened. My family were already in the dining room when I came in. I guessed Alice had already told them I wanted to speak to them. I could hear the curious thoughts of my family as they waited for me to begin.

_What is this about? Is Bella ok? _Carlisle thought.

_Is my baby sister ok? Why do you look so serious Eddie? _Emmet worried.

_Is my daughter leaving us? I don't know how we are going to survive without her... _Esme was worried about the future of her family and the happiness of our kids.

_Why is one human the cause of so much trouble? _As usual, Rose's thoughts revolved around one person-herself.

I left Alice's thoughts till last because I knew they would be the most emotional as she knew what I was going to say.

_I hate you Edward! I hate you for doing this! You will never have my forgiveness! Two good things are gone from my life! It was bad enough that Jasper left, but now you are taking Bella away too! I hate you! _Alice was glaring at me and screaming her thoughts at me. I didn't understand what she had meant when she said Jasper had gone from her life. I would find out later.

_No you won't! _She shouted. _You will find out now! Look around the room. Who is missing?! Now tell me you don't understand! _She was dry sobbing now and shaking badly. Esme walked over to comfort her. I knew she didn't completely understand what was going on but she hated to see her children so upset.

I did as Alice told me and looked around the room. Everyone but Jasper was there. I opened my mouth to ask where he was but was interrupted when Alice launched into me. She pinned me to the ground and was raining punches down on me.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you making us leave? Why are you splitting up the family?" she asked as she punched me. Everyone froze for a moment at her words. Once the initial shock had passed, Emmet came over to where Alice and I were and lifted her off me. Once with Emmet, Alice relaxed, though it was obvious she was still angry.

"Edward, what is Alice talking about? Who are we leaving?" questioned Emmet. I was afraid of his reaction most because I knew what he could do to me if I hurt him.

"What I was going to tell you is that we are leaving." I waited for their reaction to my announcement. I could see Emmet growing angry and knew he would be even angrier when I told him why I wanted us to leave.

"Why would we leave? And who do you mean by 'we'?" Emmet said through clenched teeth.

"By we, I mean the people in the house now, and Jasper of course," Alice snarled when I said his name "and I want us to leave so Bella can be safe." Whilst talking, I was looking at each member of my family and reading their thoughts to gauge their reactions to my words.

I was about to explain my decision more when Emmet threw himself at me. Instead of hitting me more, Emmet stood up and left the room without another word. He was blocking his thoughts from me as he went. Rose left the room after him thinking _Nice going, idiot. _Alice was sat on a chair with Esme comforting her. Carlisle was stood in the centre of the room.

Carlisle looked at me, his thought disappointed. "How would us leaving help Bella and if we did leave, when would we be going?"

"Before we came into Bella's life, she was safer. She didn't have vampires coming after her and she wasn't in love with someone who could kill her if he wasn't careful. I wanted to stay until tomorrow to tell her after school whilst the rest of the family would leave today" I explained this all carefully, putting my thoughts into words that would provoke the least anger possible.

"Son- "Carlisle began.

"What kind of lame of excuse is that?! There is much more to us leaving Bella, but you are too much of a coward to tell us the truth! You think Jasper wouldn't pick up on your changing emotions? Well he did! He did and he told me how you felt. I told him about the visions I had - you with another girl, a vampire. We tell each other everything because we actually love each other! Unlike what you feel for Bella our love cannot be broken! You want to know why he left, because of the vision I had of your reaction!" Alice interrupted.

I was shocked by this outburst. I was hoping that Alice and Jasper would not notice the changes I was going through. I used to think my love for Bella would last forever, but since she had been attacked by James I had realised that I couldn't love her, she wasn't good enough for me. She didn't have anything special about her. She only interested me because I couldn't hear her thoughts. I was sure that I wasn't going to hurt Jasper when I saw him. I didn't love Bella enough to fight my brother over harming her. Truthfully, I was hoping he did hurt her. At least then she wouldn't be so fragile.

Esme left the room looking disappointed. I hated upsetting my mother but knew it would have to be done sometime. As the saying goes, better sooner than later. Carlisle looked at me like he wanted to say something to me but he didn't. He left the room blocking his thoughts from me. He only did that when he was really disappointed with me, and that hardly ever happened. Alice didn't even look at me as she left the room. The only thoughts I could hear from her were hate filled. I didn't want to lose my sister over a mere human so I decided to make it up to her.

I was the only one left in the room. The house was silent other than the sounds of my family packing. I walked into the front room and stood by the glass wall. I looked out, not really seeing anything. My mind was occupied with planning how to leave Bella. It had to be just right so there would be no doubt in her mind about how I felt.

I didn't notice the time passing and was pulled away from my thoughts by the sound of my family leaving. There were no 'see you laters' or 'have a safe trips' exchanged, just the sound of doors shutting and cars driving away. The only thoughts I could hear came from Alice and Emmet. They were both expressing their hate for me.

I was surprised not to hear Rose's thoughts. She of all people should have been happy that I was leaving Bella. I guess I would never understand her. Once they were out of sight and hearing range, I went back to planning how to leave Bella.

It was time to get ready for school before I knew it. I went upstairs to have a shower and get a change of clothes. Minutes later, I was out of the house driving towards the girl I thought I loved.


	4. Tears, Well A Vampire 'Tears' But Still

**I don't own Twilight or any of the characters but I do own this story so tell me what you think! (:**

**Last Time**

_It was time to get ready for school before I knew it. I went upstairs to have a shower and get a change of clothes. Minutes later, I was out of the house driving towards the girl I thought I loved._

**BPOV**

I was pulled out of sleep by the dazzling sunlight pouring through my window. I rolled over to glare at the disturbance but froze when I saw a flash of black. It passed by so quickly I wasn't sure if it was real or if I was still dreaming. Before I could get up to check the windows, Alice appeared in front of me. I gasped. She looked terrible. Her normally immaculate clothes resembled what I would wear when I was relaxing. Her eyes were black with thirst and had deep purple bruises beneath them. Her once perfect hair was matted and tangled with leaves and twigs sticking out of it.

"Alice?" my voice shook with worry.

"Bella" she said my name in recognition rather than to call or answer me. She walked over to my bed and sat down beside me. We sat in silence for a moment.

Suddenly, she hugged me tightly and her shoulders began to heave. Her face was buried in my shoulders and I could feel her eyes clenched shut as if not seeing would make the thing that had upset her go away. I didn't need to see her face or hear her voice to know she was dry sobbing. At once I knew something was really wrong. I had never seen Alice cry, not even when James had attacked me though I knew she had wanted to. I wanted to know what was wrong but was afraid to know the answers to the questions running through my mind.

"He's gone." She whispered it so softly it was hard to hear her properly.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I tried to get her to tell me the whole story though I knew her state of mind made her incapable of speaking. She raised her head from my shoulder and looked at me. Her expression terrified me. She looked like she had lost everything.

"It's ok Alice, no matter what, you still have me and you always will. Please, let me help you" I pleaded. Seeing her upset tore me apart. My sister, my best friend was feeling horrible and I couldn't do anything to help her. Something I said must have been the wrong thing as she her shoulders heaved more violently now. Suddenly, a thought came to me. It scared me but I knew I had to know. I tried to keep the fear out of my voice as I spoke to her.

"Alice, where is Jasper?" I asked though I had an idea of the answer.

"Gone" she whimpered. "He's gone."

"Where has he gone? Why would he not take you with him?" I questioned her, furious at Jasper for crushing my sister. I knew the answers to my questions but needed to hear the words come from Alice to be sure.

"He left because of Edward" she whispered. "We are leaving too, Bella. Please know that we do love you. Everyone, Carlisle, Emmet, Esme and I love you more than you know. We had to do this and we are sorry. Don't forget that." With this said, she fled the room, leaving through the window.

I didn't understand what she had said. What would Edward have done to Jasper if he had seen him? What did she mean they were leaving? Where were they going? Why hadn't she said that Edward loved me too? Why had she left so quickly?

As if in answer to my last question Edward was suddenly in my room. He stood by the window and look at me. He inhaled then stiffened. I could feel his anger at Alice being here from where I was.

"What did she say to you?" he growled.

"What is said between me and Alice stays between me and Alice" I snapped.

Edward looked shocked at my response then composed his face into a calm mask. I knew there was more he wanted to say but could see that he wouldn't say anything.

"Would you like to spend the day with me Bella? I have some things I need to talk to you about" Edward said calmly. I knew what he had to say and didn't want to hear it but I knew I would have to hear it someday. Better sooner than later, as the saying goes.

"Yes, Edward" I said calmly. I was happy that my voice didn't betray how I really felt. I was angry at Edward because Jasper left. I was shocked and horrified that the Cullens were leaving. I was curious to know if they were going to take me with them. I was scared mostly though. I was scared because I knew there was more to why Alice was upset. I knew that there were going to be some major changes soon and I didn't want things to change from the way they were.

His voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"I'll let you get changed."

I stood up and moved around the room to get clothes to wear. With that done, I went to the bathroom to shower.

I showered slowly taking extra care with each task to put off the talk. When I knew I couldn't stall any longer I stepped out and changed into my clean clothes. I walked slowly back to the room and peeked around the door. Edward was still in the same spot he was in when I left him. This added to my constantly growing worry as Edward usually made himself at home whilst I was in the shower.

I walked into the room slowly and sat down on my bed, waiting for Edward to speak. It was silent for a while before I was annoyed.

"When exactly is this talk going to start?" I asked. My tone was harsh and it shocked Edward again. He quickly composed himself and answered my question.

"We can start the talk now if you want that, but could we walk and talk?" Edward replied calmly.

**I HAD to leave it here. I just couldn't do the next bit in Bella's view. Please don't hate me for it! You will get to see Edward leaving in two points of view. Chapter 5 should be up by Thursday if I'm not revising ;)**

** Review please!**


	5. So Long Farewell Auf Wiedersehn Goodbye!

**I don't own twilight but I do own my friend I do own my friend izumie's lullaby. ;) The name for this chapter came one of the songs from The Sound Of Music, at least I think. I knew it as a nursery rhyme! (:**

**Last Time**

"_When exactly is this talk going to start?" I asked. My tone was harsh and it shocked Edward again. He quickly composed himself and answered my question._

"_We can start the talk now if you want that, but could we walk and talk?" Edward replied calmly._

**EPOV**

When I had come into Bella's room, I still had not found a way to make her truly believe I didn't love her anymore. The fact that Alice had been here pissed me off. I wanted to know what she had said to Bella to make her snap at me. If she had given Bella any warning about my talk with her she was the one that was going to need forgiveness. I reigned in my anger before it could distract me from my mission.

"I don't mind what we do" Bella said calmly.

Her mood swings were beginning to confuse me. It was at times like these when I wished I could hear her thoughts.

"Let's go then" I replied. I took her hand to give the impression the talk would be a good one. I didn't want to give her any ideas about the topic of the talk. I lead her carefully down the stairs and out of the house. I didn't want any injuries to be held against me when I was done. I was going to talk to her whilst she was unhurt and leave her physically unhurt. Anything else she could get over quickly, her human mind would forget over time.

I carried on walking till we reached the woods and didn't stop till we were a little way in. I wanted her to get back to the house safely so I made sure the house was within sight.

"Bella" I began "we are leaving."

I could see confusion settling on her face though I had the feeling she knew this was coming as I expected her to look hurt.

"Before you ask, by 'we' I mean myself and my family. This in no way involves you" I continued.

At last I could see the hurt settling into her expression. I had to resist the urge to smile at this. I knew it made me more of a monster than I already was, but seeing Bella hurt made me happy. It would seem sick to anyone who had never felt the way I do.

"Why?" she whispered.

"_Why_? Bella are you _blind_?" I nearly shouted. I could not believe that she had noticed the way I had changed. I thought she was more observant but obviously I had given her too much credit.

"W-what do y-you mean?" she stuttered. Her voice would have been impossible to hear if I wasn't a vampire. Things were going well at the moment but I knew that if I wasn't careful I would lose my temper and do something I could possibly regret for the rest of my existence.

"Bella, for the past few weeks haven't you noticed that I have been less involved with you, not smiling as much as I used to and acting as I'm bored? I thought you were observant but obviously I was wrong if you didn't see what was right in front of you" I growled.

She flinched and looked like a puppy that had just been kicked. This new look made me even happier. I realised I was becoming a sadistic vampire who enjoyed toying with him and felt like I was going to explode with joy.

"Ed-"she began but I cut her off.

"No Bella, there is nothing for you to say. You want to ask if I love you. Well the answer is no. Did I ever love you? Well, there was a time when I thought I did but now I know what it really was – curiosity. I figured this out when James attacked you. I don't know how I kept up with this charade as long as I did but I'm glad that I don't have to anymore" I raged. I was on a roll and wanted to ice the cake with Bella's reply. I had never had this much fun since hunting humans. Just the thought made me eyes darken with thirst.

"Why are you saying this? You told me you loved me more than I you! _You _came to _me_. Not the other way around. If it was just curiosity why did you have to get involved with me" she shouted.

Again, her mood shocked me. I was expecting tears, hurt and rejection. Not anger. But this spurred me on even more. The fact that she was angry made me know how much I was getting to her, how much I was hurting her with my 'loving' words. I laughed. The sound of it was dark and haunting. Music to my ears.

"Bella, you are smart figure it out yourself. Actually, don't, you aren't worthy enough to put yourself in my shoes" I said casually.

I laughed even louder at her reaction. Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes and I suspected that she had more she wanted to say but wouldn't for fear of crying. Just to twist the knife I had put in her at the start of our conversation, I went up to her and embraced her. She relaxed in my arms and began to cry. I placed my head by her ears and whispered into her ears.

"Bella" I began.

She whimpered in response to her name being called.

"Bella, I don't love you. I never have and I never will. You and I would never work. You are not good enough for me and you never will be. I never wanted you to become a vampire because I didn't want you around for all of my existence. You are a naive little girl in a big world who will die one day. I _will_ be at your funeral. Just to see how you met your end" I whispered. As I was speaking to her, I felt her freeze in my embrace. I smiled and then released her.

"Ciao, Bella" I called, grinning like the lion who had gotten the lamb. I walked away from her slowly to prolong her pain. I heard her coming after me and made sure she caught up with me before speeding up again. After a few minutes of this, I decided I had had enough fun with her and sped off, leaving her lost in the forest. I laughed loudly at the girl whose life I had just destroyed and felt as though nothing could take away this happy feeling.

**Just in case you were wondering, no I do not have mental problems, my friends do (: check out her profile!!! Beloved of the Darkness**


	6. Leaving And Taking My Heart With Him

**Now, some of you may be thinking about killing Edward. I, on the other hand, had the time of my life writing the last chapter. This chapter is for those sadistic people who just love pain. It's basically the last chapter, but Bella's point of view.**

**Last time**

"_Ciao, Bella" I called, grinning like the lion who had gotten the lamb. I walked away from her slowly to prolong her pain. I heard her coming after me and made sure she caught up with me before speeding up again. After a few minutes of this, I decided I had had enough fun with her and sped off, leaving her lost in the forest. I laughed loudly at the girl whose life I had just destroyed and felt as though nothing could take away this happy feeling._

**BPOV**

I stood up and Edward took my hand and led me out of the house and a short way into the woods. He stopped suddenly and turned round to face me.

"Bella we are leaving" he said.

I froze. Though had known that this was coming, his words still hurt me. I felt confused and needed some time to process what he had said, but before I could do that he continued.

"Before you ask, by 'we' I mean myself and my family. This in no way involves you" he stated.

Each word he said was a like a knife to my heart. They stabbed at me and left me gasping for air. I looked at him and saw that he was resisting the urge to laugh at my reaction. This made the hurt I was feeling deepen.

"Why?" I whispered.

"_Why_? Bella are you _blind_?" his voice was louder than I had heard him speak before and it frightened me. I didn't understand what he was saying and needed to know what he meant though I knew it would hurt.

"W-what do y-you mean?" I wanted to keep my voice clear but failed as I stuttered out my question. I noticed how angry Edward was getting and this increased my fear.

"Bella, for the past few weeks haven't you noticed that I have been less involved with you, not smiling as much as I used to and acting as I'm bored? I thought you were observant but obviously I was wrong if you didn't see what was right in front of you." His voice was a low growl. I flinched at his words because I had not noticed anything different. I just thought that he was being more careful with me because of what had happened with James.

"Ed-"I started to call his name but was cut off by him.

"No Bella, there is nothing for you to say. You want to ask if I love you. Well the answer is no. Did I ever love you? Well, there was a time when I thought I did but now I know what it really was – curiosity. I figured this out when James attacked you. I don't know how I kept up with this charade as long as I did but I'm glad that I don't have to anymore" he raged. His eyes darkened as he spoke and I thought he was thirsty.

Though his words were meant to hurt, the only thing I felt was anger. How could he say this to me after it was him that had come after me. I wanted him to know how I felt so I told him.

"Why are you saying this? You told me you loved me more than I you! _You _came to _me_. Not the other way around. If it was just curiosity why did you have to get involved with me" I shouted.

Shock crossed his face when I shouted at him. Today seemed like a day of surprises for him as almost everything I had said to him shocked him. It was my turn to be surprised next as Edward laughed. The sound was dark and haunting. Nothing the usual velvet sound his laugh possessed.

"Bella, you are smart figure it out yourself. Actually, don't, you aren't worthy enough to put yourself in my shoes" he said casually. I didn't know what had gotten into him. There were so many things I wanted to ask Edward but I knew the answers would only hurt me more. Something I did must have been funny because Edward laughed again, the dark sound echoing loudly in the forest.

Edward began to walk towards me and embraced me as if the last 10 minutes had not happened. Suddenly, he hugged me. I tensed at the unexpected contact then relaxed. Though he had nearly broken me, his touch still had the same effect on me. I hated it but love it at the same time. I started to cry because the realisation of what could have happened had just dawned on me. The tears ran freely down my face as all the fear I had previously felt vanished. Edward moved his head to my ear and began to whisper to me.

"Bella" he whispered.

The loving words I was expecting did not come. Instead, I was greeted by more hate filled words. I froze in disbelief as he spoke to me.

"Bella, I don't love you. I never have and I never will. You and I would never work. You are not good enough for me and you never will be. I never wanted you to become a vampire because I didn't want you around for all of my existence. You are a naive little girl in a big world who will die one day. I _will_ be at your funeral. Just to see how you met your end." He said it with so much conviction, I couldn't not believe him. I felt him smile against my ear before he released me.

"Ciao, Bella" he called to me as he walked away. He was still smiling as he left me in pieces. He was walking slowly so I thought I could catch up to him. No matter how hard I tried, I could never reach him. Every time I got close to him he sped up. I don't know how long this lasted till he sped away from me, tired of the game he was playing with me. Edward laughed again as he sped away. I fell to the ground, pain and rejection washing over me. I knew I was lost but didn't care. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Edward was gone. He took the part of me that cared with him. He had left me and taken my heart with him and there was nothing I could do about it. I curled into a ball and let the pain pull me into darkness.

**You like? Please review and tell me what you think! (:**

**By the way, as you are reading the story, I want to know if you want the 'depressed chapter' or if I should just skip them. You decide.**


	7. Manipulative

**Thank you for all the people that reviewed!!! I'm happy that my story got different reactions. Now I wasn't completely sure if I should have 'The Depression' but then I felt it might be necessary for the future, so it will be the next chapter. This idea **_**just**_** came to me as I was writing because of Jade.L.S**

**Last Time**

"_Ciao, Bella" he called to me as he walked away. He was still smiling as he left me in pieces. He was walking slowly so I thought I could catch up to him. No matter how hard I tried, I could never reach him. Every time I got close to him he sped up. I don't know how long this lasted till he sped away from me, tired of the game he was playing with me. Edward laughed again as he sped away. I fell to the ground, pain and rejection washing over me. I knew I was lost but didn't care. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Edward was gone. He took the part of me that cared with him. He had left me and taken my heart with him and there was nothing I could do about it. I curled into a ball and let the pain pull me into darkness._

**JPOV**

I couldn't believe that it had worked. I had always thought that removing Edward from the picture would have been much harder but I was glad that things had gone my way. All that was left to do now was to leave Alice and win Bella's heart. The first would be easy. I had already shown how much I could be trusted by attacking Bella. Though she wouldn't say, I knew she was furious with me. I had taken a snap at her sister and that was unforgiveable. Alice knew how much I struggled with control, everyone in the family knew, yet they still allowed a human in the house, pushing my limits. What they didn't know was how much my actions had hurt me.

Bella; human. Jasper; vampire. Two different species. Two similar people, though most didn't know it and perfect for each other in so many ways.

Edward had told us she said our kind _dazzled_ hers. She had dazzled me from the moment she had walked into the cafeteria that first day of school.

I had felt her reaction to seeing us and was surprised to feel no fear. All other humans had always felt fear when it came to my family and me. It was their survival instinct kicking in though they didn't know why they felt afraid. Her clumsiness had also surprised me. In all my years, I had never encountered a human who found it so difficult to keep upright. I thought she deserved a medal for trying though.

I used to think what I had with Alice would last forever. Then Bella came and showed me the true meaning of love though she didn't know it. She never knew the kind of effect she had on me, but hopefully someday she would.

I wanted to show her what Edward hadn't – true love. I knew that I'd make her happier than anyone else could because I would allow her to be herself and more. I would always let her have her way and treat her like a person.

My family, though I didn't like to think of them as that, were good people. I hated myself for what I had done to them, but I knew it was necessary. I had lied to them, manipulated them and made them hate one of their own. It was unforgivable but I knew I could make them forgive me if I wanted.

The day I had met them, I had never told them the extent of my powers. They knew I was an empath, but they didn't know I could also affect people so much I could make them believe anything I wanted them too. My power was both mental and physical. Few people knew this, and they weren't able to tell anyone because of the effect I had on them.

I knew that using Edward like the way I had was wrong, but I had wanted Bella so much. Edward had even started to develop feelings for Bella himself whilst I had used him.

Up to date, the biggest regret I had was using my brother to hurt the one I loved so much.

**So, if you still don't understand why Edward is the way he is, then I am afraid I cannot do anymore to help as it's obvious now (:**

**Review please!**

**By the way, as of today, I am changing my pen name from Tricia2694 to BrownEye is Els**


	8. Remembering

**I wasn't completely sure if I should have 'The Depression' but then I felt it might be necessary for the future. Also, this chapter is Bella remembering being depressed, about 10 months after him leaving her. You will not have to read her being sad for long (:**

**Last Time**

_I knew that using Edward like the way I had was wrong, but I had wanted Bella so much. Edward had even started to develop feelings for Bella himself whilst I had used him._

_Up to date, the biggest regret I had was using my brother to hurt the one I loved so much._

**BPOV**

_Days, hours or minutes had passed. I wasn't sure which, but knew that I couldn't go on. How could I possibly live when my happiness, my love, my everything had turned its back on me and left? I had responsibilities but what did they matter when there was nothing to look forward to when they were taken care of? I had always known I wasn't good enough for him, but to have him say it was too much to bear. When he had said he loved me, I had always doubted him, but a small part of me allowed me to believe what he said. That small part had grown till almost all of me had believed he had loved me. That part was now crushed, rejected, unloved, meaningless. What had I done wrong? What was I missing? Though I was human, he could easily have changed me. Every problem I saw with myself could easily have been solved. I saw no reason for them to leave without me. This depressed me even further because I realised that maybe Edward had told me what all of his family had been thinking. Maybe they all just didn't want me and were throwing me away like an old toy._

_The part that didn't make sense in all this was Alice…_

"He left because of Edward" she whispered. "We are leaving too, Bella. Please know that we do love you. Everyone, Carlisle, Emmet, Esme and I love you more than you know. We had to do this and we are sorry. Don't forget that."

_What I didn't understand before Edward had left made some sense now. I wondered why she hadn't said Edward's name when she was mentioning those that would always love me. Now I knew that she had known about this and it made me hate her. Why hadn't she given me any warning? The hate was gone as quickly as it appeared. I knew how I would have reacted to her telling me that Edward had never loved me. It would have broken us apart and made them move away. I also knew how Edward would react to her wanting to tell me how he felt. He would have wanted to do it himself; to give me a kind of closure, or to watch me suffer…_

Something I did must have been funny because Edward laughed again, the dark sound echoing loudly in the forest

_I locked up the memories of those events. They were too painful for me._

I was pulled out of thoughts by Angela calling me from the front room.

"Bella!" she shouted.

**This is much shorter than normal, but for a reason I can not reveal yet. I might post another chapter today, but then I wont post again until Sunday if I'm busy.**


	9. Stupid Son Of A

**Ok, so my story has been 'found' as my retarded bunny friend says. Thanks to all the reviewers, favorite adds and the secret readers. I did this chapter asap because I think you readers are great people ;) **

**Last Chapter**

_I was pulled out of thoughts by Angela calling me from the front room._

"_Bella!" she shouted._

**APOV**

He was gone and that bastard I call a brother was still here, walking around like he had done nothing wrong. It had been 3 long months since we had left Bella in Forks. Since then, we have not been the same. You could see our sadness in everything that we did. The only one who was positive throughout all this was of course Edward, the cause of our depression.

Since leaving Bella, he had been happier than we had ever seen him. He had become more outgoing and less prudish, going through at least 10 girls a month. No one knew what he saw in them; they were everything he hated in a girl - superficial, stupid, self-centred and most of all complete and utter whores. Esme would sink further into depression with each new girl he brought home, she just couldn't understand why her son had become the way he was.

Edward was not the only one who had changed.

Emmet, my huggable older brother, had become less friendly and spent a lot of his time silent. He refused to talk to Edward, preferring to assault him with his thoughts when he wasn't blocking his mind. He was less patient with Rosalie, snapping at her attitude on the few occasions she was rude.

Everywhere he went, Carlisle now wore a mask. Underneath that mask was disappointment, grief and anger. He was disappointed at Edward's behaviour and his revelation, grieving over the loss of Jasper and Bella. He was angry at the entire situation. He wanted to be able to solve it, to make everything right again. But he couldn't, and that made him think that he had failed his family.

Esme too mourned; she had lost a daughter and a son all in one go. Her family was falling apart and her husband unhappy. Her first son, whom she secretly loved most, had done the one thing she had asked him not to do when he had started seeing Bella...

"_Edward, come here please"_

_He walked over to her and sat down on the chair opposite me._

"_Yes Esme?" he replied._

"_Edward, promise me something" she pleaded._

"_Anything" he said quickly._

"_Whatever happens between you and Bella, Edward, please don't break up this family. If we come to love her, don't take her away from us without enough reason" she begged._

"_I promise" he said honestly._

Even Rosalie had changed. She had become less of an Ice Queen and more approachable. She would still make snide comments, but only when it was called for. Our bond had grown as she helped me try to get over Jasper.

If it wasn't for Rose, I wouldn't be the way I am now...

"_Alice, let's hunt. You need to eat something." Esme was trying to get me to hunt. I knew I had to but I just couldn't do it. Everything I did reminded me of him. I wanted to die. What meaning was there to this life if there was on one to love you?_

"_Let me talk to her" Rose said. Esme and the rest of the family left the room, leaving me and Rose with some privacy._

"_Alice, sis? Look at me" she placed her hand under my chin and lifted my head up "I know Jasper is gone. You are upset, heartbroken of course. I am not going to say I understand, because I don't. What I do know is that Jasper wouldn't want you to starve yourself. Will you hunt with me?" she said. Whilst she was talking, I had repositioned myself so I could hug her._

_Since losing Jasper, Rose had done so much more for me and I was forever grateful._

Though everyone had changed, mine was the most noticeable.

**I am not very sure if this chapter is good, but it was what i came up with. Now, this is important as it decides what happens next-do you want me to move straight to conflict after this chapter or have a few more points of view first? Please review and answer (:**


	10. My Life Is Going Good

**So sorry for the late update!!! Work experience is a lot of work so I haven't had time to post but I have 2 chapters!!! Yay! Back to the story. **

**Now, in chapter 8 I made a mistake. I meant to say 10 months not a few, this has been changed now to fit in with this chapter. Read and review please (:**

**Last Time**

"Alice, sis? Look at me" she placed her hand under my chin and lifted my head up "I know Jasper is gone. You are upset, heartbroken of course. I am not going to say I understand, because I don't. What I do know is that Jasper wouldn't want you to starve yourself. Will you hunt with me?" she said. Whilst she was talking, I had repositioned myself so I could hug her.

Since losing Jasper, Rose had done so much more for me and I was forever grateful.

_Though everyone had changed, mine was the most noticeable._

**BPOV**

"Bella!" Angela shouted to me from the front room. "Pizza's here!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After graduating, me and Angela had moved to New York to study at Columbia University. She majored in Public health, and I in Journalism. We had got an apartment as soon as we got accepted and have been living together for almost a year now.

Angela Weber was one of the kindest people you would ever meet she cared for everyone and never interfered unless you were in trouble or asked her for help. Without her, I wouldn't be where I am today. I was one of the top students in all my classes, I had a great job working for the local paper and best of all I had a boyfriend who would give me the world if he could...

"_Where is your homeroom?" Angela asked. It was our first day at Columbia University and we had just gotten in. I looked up at her to answer but lost the ability to speak when I saw him. He was so beautiful-no, that was not the word to describe him; he was perfect._

_At 6" 9, he towered over all the kids and looked menacing to some because of the way his body was built. Before I could __ogle__ him any longer, my foot made contact with something and I felt myself falling. Before I could hit the floor though, I was caught in a burning embrace. I flushed and looked up to thank my helper but was again lost for words. He was even more beautiful up close. His unusual bright green eyes twinkled and hypnotised me as he held me._

"_Hi, my name is Xavier. And you are?" he spoke with a subtle Spanish accent that made you weak in the knees._

"_My-my name is B-Bella. T-thank you f-for catching me" I stuttered then flushed again at the sound of my voice. He helped me upright and smiled. I gasped. He was dazzling me and I hoped he didn't know it._

"_Where is your homeroom?" he asked._

"_M-my homeroom is with Mr Jefferson" my voice had become more stable but was still shaky._

"_Mine too" he smiled again. Before I could get lost in his smile again, I looked around for Angela and was a bit disappointed when I didn't see her._

"_Shall we go?" he said._

"_Sure" I smiled nervously._

Xavier Benjamin had walked into my life on my first day at Columbia. When I saw him, I knew that he was special. He had asked me out on our second day at Columbia and I had almost burst with happiness and excitement. We had been going out for almost 4 months now, but we were already pretty serious. He treated me like a queen and made me wonder what I had done to deserve him.

Everyone knew he was a great guy and thought that we made the perfect couple. What they didn't know was that he was a shape-shifter.

Despite my previous run in with the supernatural, one encounter was obviously not enough. Since Xavier and I had become an item, there have been a few too many threats on my life from other supernatural beings. Thanks to his ability; he could take any form he wanted, I was never in any real danger. He was always there to protect me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Thanks Ang!" I called. I made my way down stairs and into the front room. Angela and I sat down on the sofa with a slice in our hands and ate in comfortable silence, the only sounds coming from the TV.

Half way through the pizza, there was a knock at the door. I jumped up from the sofa to see who it was and felt my heart skip a beat when I opened the door.

"Can I come in?" Xavier asked. I laughed. Though we had been going out for so long now, he still felt the need to ask my permission to enter my apartment.

"Course you can!" I smiled and took his hand as I led him towards the sofa. I looked for Angela so he could say hi to her, but as usual she had disappeared. We had a rule that whenever a boyfriend came over, there would be privacy, so we made ourselves scarce. He sat down first then pulled me onto his lap. I leaned into his chest and sighed in contentment.

"How was your day?" he asked, his voice husky.

"Well, I only woke up about an hour ago, so it's been great so far" I smiled.

"What do you mean?! It's 7pm Bella, no one sleeps for that long!" He was so surprised it was cute. But he really should have been used to it by now because since Edward had left, my sleeping habits had gone haywire.

I would lie awake most of the night until an hour or so before dawn when I wall fall into an uneasy sleep. I normally woke around 10 but I had been so tired because all the extra time I had gave me too much time to think.


	11. Angela

**Here is the second chapter (:**

**Last Time**

_I would lie awake most of the night until an hour or so before dawn when I wall fall into an uneasy sleep. I normally woke around 10 but I had been so tired because all the extra time I had gave me too much time to think._

**AngelaPOV**

Bella has been through so much already this year. I don't know how she is still standing, but I am glad she is because she has done so much for everyone, though she doesn't know it. I was proud of her because of how far she had come since Edward left...

"_Bella?" I came into to the house and called to see if she was in. Charlie had asked me to check up on her when Edward left because he thought I could help. I didn't know what to do though so I did what I thought would be best for her._

"_Bella?!" I called again. I was getting worried now because she usually answers the first or second time you call her. Unless..._

_I ran up the stairs and burst into her room and froze. She was cutting again._

"_Bella! What are you thinking?!" I crossed over to her and took the knife out of her hand and dropped it on the floor. I hugged her tight not wanting to let go of her in case she picked up the knife again._

_She didn't respond but after a few minutes she broke down and began to shudder violently. She hugged me back just as tightly as if she too was afraid of picking up the knife again. I could feel the blood from her arm soaking into my shirt but I didn't care. She was safe but she needed help that no one could give her. She had already hurt herself twice this month and it worried me that she was still trying. Charlie couldn't handle it and Renée didn't know anything about it. Everyone else was curious but knew they weren't going to find anything out._

_Charlie must have came in whilst we were hugging because the next thing I saw was him pulling Bella away from me into a hug. He usually didn't show much emotion unless it was too hard for him to contain but now there were tears streaming down his face. I knew that he tried to be strong around Bella but it was all getting to him now. _

_Though I had done nothing wrong I felt guilty. I blamed myself for Bella cutting herself. If only I had been with her at all times, asked to study with her..._

I still worried about her a little but not as much as I used to. I knew that with Xavier in her life, she would not hurt herself because by doing so she would hurt him and she didn't want that.

I knew there was something special about him because he had healed Bella when no one else could. I don't know why, but I felt that he would give his life for Bella and this made me like him a lot. If he was willing to do that for Bella, then he was a welcome person in her life.


	12. Plans For The Future

**Writers block sucks!!! Lol and I only got it cos of karma....next time I won't laugh at my friends who have it, scout's honour (I was never a scout so this means nothing lol ^_^)**

**Last time**

_I knew there was something special about him because he had healed Bella when no one else could. I don't know why, but I felt that he would give his life for Bella and this made me like him a lot. If he was willing to do that for Bella, then he was a welcome person in her life._

**JPOV**

Though I wanted to run back to where Bella was I knew it was impossible. I could not return to her yet as my thirst had grown with the number of people I had to use my powers on. I was constantly tired and for a vampire this was a bad sign. If I didn't regain my strength soon I would be in danger if any vampires were to attack.

The only way to get my strength back quickly was to drink human blood but I was using that as a last resort because I didn't want Bella to know I was back until I was able to see her. It was an obvious choice for me to want to be close to her protecting her. Already there had been a few vampires that had tried to attack her but I had quickly disposed of them.

Other than the few attacks nothing worried me about Bella if you didn't count the guy who was always with her. When I thought of him it made the venom coursing through me boil.

From what I had been able to gather he was Bella's boyfriend and this made me hate him automatically. He was also a shape shifter but I had yet to know what his other form was as I had not seen him phase yet. I also had to find out his name because from the little I knew about his kind, they also moved around like civilised vampires at times and changed their names.

I pushed all thoughts of the shape shifter out of my mind and let myself indulge in fantasies of the future Bella and I could have and would have soon.

Whilst dreaming I had subconsciously moved towards the house Bella shared with Angela Weber; she was a nice girl and I knew that I didn't have to worry much about Bella with a friend like Angela by her side.

I peered in through open window but pulled back as soon as I saw who was in the room. I fled from the window and didn't stop running until I had reached to apartment I had bought.

When I had stopped I let the rage that had been building up inside take over and I lashed out at everything within reach. I didn't care what the neighbours would think...

After my anger had passed I began to rethink all the plans I had made before. Maybe Bella _didn't_ need time to get over Edward if she was already dating someone else. I mean, I know Edward wasn't the best guy but no average guy could have replaced him, at least that was what I thought.

Well if this was the case then I wasn't going to wait any longer to make Bella mine. I lay down on my bed and went to _sleep _"dreaming" of the future I had planned for us.

**Ok so I know this is different from what I promised and I tried my best to stick to the plan but... I just couldn't do it sorry but hopefully this is better than what I had in mind ^_^**


	13. A Little Look At Edward & Alice

**Another chapter to apologise for the long wait and it 2 point of views too. Hope you enjoy ^^**

**Last Time**

_After my anger had passed I began to rethink all the plans I had made before. Maybe Bella _didn't_ need time to get over Edward if she was already dating someone else. I mean, I know Edward wasn't the best guy but no average guy could have replaced him, at least that was what i thought._

_Well if this was the case then I wasn't going to wait any longer to make Bella mine. I lay down on my bed and went to _sleep_ "dreaming" of the future I had planned for us._

**EPOV**

If this was not heaven, then I did not know what was.

With no girl to tie me down, I was free to do what I liked and when I liked. Though I knew that my "family" did not agree with my popularity amongst the women of the vampire world, I didn't have the patience to argue with them. It was easier for me as I hardly ever visited them, only going to their house in New York for special occasions or when I needed something.

"Edward, come back into the bed," a voice purred from my bedroom. I smiled at the sound of her voice and made my way towards her.

Tanya Denali was strewn across my king-sized bed, her strawberry blonde hair tousled from the journey from Alaska. I allowed to roam over her body slowly only returning to her face when my mind registered her giggle.

"What?" I asked amused too.

"Nothing, just wondering why you always do that when I come here," she replied.

"Well Tanya, that's because I'm always taken away by your beauty," I lied. This was a line I used on all girls I slept with. The fact Tanya was a close family friend made no difference to me.

She laughed at this and used her thoughts to tell me why she was on my bed. I smiled at her little request.

"Well, if that's what you want then I cannot refuse. For the next few hours your wish is my command," I purred. I was going to enjoy this as much a she was.

I jumped on the bed and began to tickle her mercilessly. This would not be the only time tonight she would be screaming my name...

**APOV**

"Alice? Alice?! Alice!!"

I started and came back to my current surroundings. If I was still human I would be pouring with sweat now.

That vision had come out of nowhere and I did not know who is was that was calling my name. These kinds of visions had been coming since the day Jasper had left. Whether it was caused by my sadness or the change in lifestyle I didn't know but it did not matter anyway. All I wanted to know was who the person calling me was. The voice sounded so familiar but I could not put a name to the person. Whoever it was sounded worried about me. I was worried about me too. Nothing had been the same for me...

"_Alice, you have _got _to eat. You cannot go on starving yourself. It's what Jasper would have wanted you to do" Esme pleaded._

_It had been 6 months now since I had last tasted blood and it the burn in my throat had lessened. I was constantly week because I used all my strength to fight the urge to go out and hunt._

_I screamed and Esme flinched._

_Though it hurt her it was the only way to get her off of my case. She had desperately been trying to get me to eat but nothing but the sight of Jasper would do that. He had promised he would come back for me but it had been almost a year now and there was still no sign._


	14. Mamas & Papas

**R&R please and thanks for sticking with me through my block :P**

**Thank m6 'beta' Izumie's Lullaby for these chapters :D (She's gone on holiday and left me :'[ )**

**Last Time**

_**EPOV**_

"_Well, if that's what you want then I cannot refuse. For the next few hours your wish is my command," I purred. I was going to enjoy this as much a she was._

_I jumped on the bed and began to tickle her mercilessly. This would not be the only time tonight she would be screaming my name..._

_**APOV**_

Though it hurt her it was the only way to get her off of my case. She had desperately been trying to get me to eat but nothing but the sight of Jasper would do that. He had promised he would come back for me but it had been almost a year now and there was still no sign.

**CharliePOV**

_I am happy and no one can take that away from me_ I thought to myself as I pulled out of my drive way.

My daughter was fully recovered from her catatonic state and was enjoying University in New York. From what I heard, she even had a boyfriend though I had yet to meet him. Her happiness made me happy.

On the romance level things were starting to heat up with Ruth Walkers, a nurse I had met whilst helping a kid who had been in an accident. I remembered our first date if it could be called that...

"_C-can I speak to Nurse Walkers please?" I nervously asked the receptionist. I was nervous because she was the most beautiful person I had met since meeting Renée, and that was years ago. I didn't know how old she was and was not willing to let myself hope for her to be my age to avoid disappointment. Besides, with looks like hers, why wouldn't she have a boyfriend or be married?_

_But this didn't stop the butterflies in my stomach when she came over to me._

"_Hello Chief Swan," she smiled. I stared, lost in her beauty wanting so much to be more than just acquaintances._

"_H-hello Nurse Walker," my nerves were showing and this made her laugh. The sound of her laughter relaxed me slightly but didn't stop the gymnastics my stomach was doing. "How is the kid?" I asked, my voice strengthened with confidence at the fact that I had made her laugh._

"_He's doing well, he's a fast healer and should be ready to go in a couple of days," she replied. She suddenly turned her gaze to the floor and flushed red. "W-would, you l-like to get a cup of c-coffee with me?" she stammered._

"_Yes," I said without hesitation. She looked up and smiled at me before gesturing for me to follow her to the cafeteria. We got our cups from the vending machine on the way and were about to sit down when her pager beeped. She sighed and began to apologise but was cut off when I received a call on my radio._

_We laughed at these disturbances and quickly exchanged numbers before heading off to attend to out duties._

We were happy with each other and if things continued this way I was going to ask her to move in with me, maybe even marry her. But talk of marriage now might scare her so it would be best to leave it and let things flow.

I sighed in content and continued my journey into Seattle.

**RenéePOV**

"Phil! Put me down!" I screamed as he lifted me from the car. Where he got his strength from I didn't know. When you looked at him, you didn't think that he would be able to lift a 126 pound woman, but that was what he did.

He put me down and shut the car door, before placing his hand at the small of my back to guide me into the hospital like he would a child.

We were at the hospital because Phil was worried about my health. For the past two days I was vomiting and my hormones were all over the place. Of course I didn't want to go, but I went just to prove to him that I was fine.

When we came in, I wanted to leave straight away. I despised hospitals. It wasn't the sight of blood, or needles that made me hate them. In fact I didn't know why I hated hospitals myself. But there was something about them I didn't like which is why I made it my duty never to be in hospital for any reason.

We went into see Dr. Appleby and after a few tests and what seemed like hours of waiting, he came back to give us the results.


	15. Bad News, But There's Good News Too

**Ok, so my block has almost fully disappeared, but I do know where I'm going with this story now. I can't promise regular updates with this story, but I will try my best to update at least once a week.**

**CPOV**

I sped up a little as I got onto the long empty stretch of road before the turn onto the road heading towards Seattle. I tapped on the wheel in time to the music coming from the radio. I didn't know the song, but I liked the way it sounded. It made the drive better somehow.

I looked at the time on the radio and sped up again. If I didn't get to Seattle in time, Ruth would never forgive me. We had arranged to see a movie and have dinner after as today was the only day I could get off from the station during her time off.

As I focused back on to the road, I realised it was just in time to see a deer run out onto the road. I jumped in my seat as deer were not common in Forks. I slammed on the breaks and tried to turn the car slightly but the deer began to run at full speed towards the car. Instinctively, I swerved to avoid a collision but lost control and hit a tree.

My body jerked against the seatbelt causing pain to stab through me. My head hit the wheel and vision became cloudy. I felt blood gliding down my forehead and from my ears as the world began to spin. Everything went red before a blanket of darkness covered me in its warmth.

**BPOV**

I look at Charlie as he lay still on the bed. The loud beeping of the hospital equipment and my heart straining against my chest. I knew Ruth was crying but my mind didn't have room to process the fact someone other than Charlie was here. Tears welled in my eyes as I thought of the events that had led to us being here...

_Xavier and I were watching TV when the phone rang. I stood up to get it._

"_Hello?" I said into the phone._

"_Is this the daughter of Chief Swan?" the person replied, they sounded like they were worried too. I began to worry because no one referred to me in that way. Something must have happened to Charlie._

"_Y-yes, this is Bella Swan. Has something happened to my dad?" I answered in a rush._

"_I wanted to tell you that your dad has had a car accident and is in the ITU at Seattle Hospital. When can you get here?" the woman asked._

"_Right away," I said before dropping the phone and rushing to get my things together so I could go to Charlie. Xavier was watching me as I rushed upstairs to change my clothes and pack my toothbrush and a few clothes. I heard his footsteps coming towards me before I saw him standing at the door of my room with his hands open, ready to pull me into a hug._

_I let myself cry once I was in his arms. I suspected he didn't know what was wrong but was feeling my pain. He kissed my hair and rocked me gently from side to side. The tears came down as the fears built up making me want to cry even more but I knew I had to get to Charlie as soon as possible._

_I stepped back a little and tried to smile at Xavier but it came out in a grimace._

"_Bella, I don't know what's happened, but if there's anything I can to do help, I'll do it," he said sincerely. This made me want to cry even more because I didn't know what I'd done to deserve someone as good as Xavier. _

_He helped me finish getting my things together and bundled me into the passenger seat of his car. Before I could protest, he said that I was in no state to drive and asked where we were going. On the way there, I told him what had happened, Xavier looked he wanted to cry himself though he had never even met Charlie. It made my heart swell to think a person so caring actually existed._

_An hour later we were rushing into Seattle's hospital anxious to get to my dad._

**RenéePOV**

"Mrs Dwyer, -"Dr. Appleby began.

"Call me Renée, please," I interrupted. Although I loved Phil, I hate being called Mrs Dwyer or Mrs anything.

"Renée," he continued smiling now, "I am pleased to tell you that you are one month pregnant."

Something about my expression must have been worrying as his face changed from smiling to concerned. Beside me, I could feel that Phil had tensed at the news, but before worry could grow he let a shout of joy.

"I'm gonna be a dad!" Phil exclaimed. I wanted to tell him that I didn't think we could cope with another child but I didn't want to deny him this experience.


	16. Visions and Reunitions

**APOV**

_Driving on the open road. _

_Music coming from the radio. _

_Tapping on the wheel._

_Deer running out into the road._

_Tyres screeching._

_Deer running towards car._

_Car swerves, hits tree._

_Blood, broken bones, pain._

_Bella, tears, wearing black._

I kept getting these flashes of something, but I didn't know what. I wasn't even sure if they were all connected, but they always came in that order. I didn't know what they meant, but I knew Bella needed me.

Bella was more important than me. If she needed me, I had to be there for her. I had to find her.

I doubted she still lived in Forks. She couldn't handle that much heartbreak and want to live in the same place. She was only human after all.

Human...

If I wanted to be any use to Bella, I had to feed.

For the first time in a long time, I took in my surroundings. I had no idea where I was.

"Bella," I moaned.

Emmett was at my side at once. He looked worried and happy. I laughed. It was small, but it felt good. I looked up at him and he took that as his cue to pick me up and embrace me.

I felt so safe in his arms. I clung to him as if my life depended on it...

Maybe it did. Maybe Rosalie, Emmett, Esme and Carlisle were my last hope at life.

I felt Rosalie's arms around Emmett and I. Everything was going to be right again. But first I had to find Bella.


	17. Swallowed Up In The Sound Of Screaming

**BPOV**

My father was dying.

He would be leaving me soon.

Pulled away by some cruel twist of fate.

Hadn't I suffered enough? Was I supposed to go through life with a grief at every turn? Was the obstacle I always had to face heartbreak?

_WHY ME?! _I thought.

Why? Why did it have to happen to me? Was this karma for something I had done? Was it punishment?

Was there any point to life if everyday brought about a new setback?

I should just end it all...

Give fate and karma a break. No more Bella Swan to mess about with.

They would have to find a new toy...

But that would mean someone else would suffer....

That wasn't right. It was unfair. Why should someone suffer because I couldn't cope?

Charlie HAD to live. He was strong! What did I mean who would die? Charlie was too young to die. He would live at least another 20 years.

Dad couldn't die.

He couldn't.

I felt a hand on my shoulder but didn't bother to turn to see who it was. I knew it was Xavier. His warmth seeped through my layers and heater my shoulder. He pulled my shoulder back slightly as if he wanted me to look at him but I couldn't.

If I took my eyes of Charlie, even for a second, he could slip away without my knowledge. And it would be my fault.

It would be my fault if Charlie died, because I'm supposed to be watching him, keeping him here with my eyes.

_But I'm so tired_ I thought. I hadn't slept in 3 days. But it's only right I didn't sleep. He would do the same for me.

I had to be strong for Charlie. I had to be there every moment of the day.

Charlie NEEDED me. There was no one else but me.

_Ruth..._

The name floated around in my head, but I didn't remember who she was. She may have been important, but I couldn't focus on her, I had to focus on Charlie.

Charlie was my priority.

Dad. I had to be the best daughter. I had to play a role. My role. The one made for me. Only I could fill it. Only I. No one but me.

It would be just me and Charlie.

A fat tear slid off my chin.

I hadn't noticed it there until now. What else has been going on?

I fully registered Xavier's presence then. I cried harder.

He picked me up and held me tight. I could feel he was crying too, his tears wetting my back.

Our bodies shook with grief. We cried as though Charlie had already died. Our sobs were loud.

So loud we didn't hear the machine flat lining.

When we did, I screamed. I fell to the floor shattered.

I screamed for time to rewind and bring my father back. I screamed for everything to be alright again. I screamed for what I knew I had lost.

The nurses who had rushed in after I screamed were performing CPR on Dad. I could see this out of the corner of my eye.

_There's no use! _I wanted to yell. _He's already dead! _My mind screamed.

I felt myself being lifted up and taken to a separate room.

His embrace was cold. So cold I stopped screaming. I stopped breathing. I stopped functioning. I shut down.

I embraced the darkness I previously fought off.

_It would be my home from now_ I tod myself.


	18. Lost and Found

**EPOV**

For the past few months, I had done nothing but fool around. I changed the girl I was with like a girl changed outfits. I was what some would call a man whore, but I preferred the term womaniser. It was classier and suited me better.

My phone rang but I ignored it. It would most likely be my family or Tanya, and I didn't wish to speak to either. Instead, I removed my clothes and headed for the pool. That was 'where the party was'.

Just as I was about to show off by diving in, a chill ran down my spine. It wasn't cold; it was quite warm, warm enough to use an indoor pool anyway. My head began to ache; almost as though it was being ripped from my body then replaced over and over again. I stumbled and the girls in the pool turned to look at me.

I must have passed out, because the next thing I knew, I was back in my room, surrounded by half naked girls. None of them was Bella. I looked around to double check to be sure she wasn't there. No matter where I looked, I didn't see Bella.

I didn't remember much of the past few months, but I got the feeling that I would be disgusted with myself if I did, so I decided not to bother with such memories.

All that mattered was finding Bella. But why, when I thought her name, did I not deem myself worthy of her? Why did I feel that she would not accept me if I came back? Why did it feel like she had moved on?

Had time moved on without me? Had I been left behind? Or had I done something I would forever regret?

I searched my phone and saw several missed calls from Esme.

I missed her. And Alice, Emmett, Carlisle. Even Rosalie. I missed them all.

I needed to get back to where they were, but I didn't know where that was either.

It felt as though I had had my memory wiped or I hadn't been myself in a long time.

Whatever the problem was, Carlisle would help me solve it.

**BPOV**

I wanted my Daddy.

No, I needed him. I needed him to walk through the door and tell me it was all one huge misunderstanding, that he hadn't been in hospital and they had confused him with someone else. I imagined he would walk through the door and hang up like he normally does, expecting his dinner to be ready soon.

But he didn't. He never would. I wasn't even sure if he was dead, but I cried like he was. I cried tears for everything that had gone wrong. I cried for all the good times we had had and would never get to have again.

I cried for my loneliness. Despite Xavier being there, I was lonely, and I always would be. Nothing could ever replace Charlie. No matter how hard they tried, the just couldn't live up to him.

Dad had been my anchor ever since Edward broke me. He was always there no matter the time. He would do everything for me, go to the end of the Earth and back if I wanted him to. I was the apple of his eye.

I remember how afraid I was of first coming to live with him and sobbed a laugh at how it had become normal, so that going to visit Mum felt weird.

Without Charlie I was lost. I didn't know who could save or find me. I wasn't sure if I wanted either to happen...

If I had to go back to reality, I thought my head would burst. I would over think everything, blame myself as I did everyone else.

It was then I realised that I wasn't in the hospital anymore.

I looked around and assumed I was in someone's house.


	19. Race

**Filler chap! I know, boo me, but it's necessary.**

**JPOV**

I had her. At last, I finally had my Bella. We could be together forever now. I would do what that idiot Edward had been too afraid to do. Bella would be mine for an eternity. I had left her in my apartment knowing she would be safe. No one would disturb her and she would call no attention to herself. She was still in shock. I could feel her pain as she mourned Charlie though he was not dead. She hadn't even noticed when I carried her from the hospital and I think the staff were slightly relieved to be rid of her. She looked broken.

I wondered if this was how it was when Edward had left her. I hadn't been there with her because I had to learn self-control then, but as soon as I trusted myself to be in control, I set out to find Bella.

**APOV**

I was on my way to Bella with Emmett and Rosalie by my side. We had fed the night before and early this morning before heading off. We didn't take anything with us because it would slow us down and something told me that Bella needed us now, urgently. We sped down Genesee Street under the cover of night hoping to reach Seattle the following day if we ran nonstop.

I wanted to get to Bella as possible though I wasn't sure where she was now. In the time that had passed, I doubted that she would still be living in Forks. Knowing Bella, she would have gone to college like she had planned to do with Edward. If she had, she may have moved far away from Forks, away from all the reminders of Edward.

**EPOV**

I left my house in Nova Scotia, running as fast as I could towards the house in Utica, opting to swim across the border to get there faster. I needed to talk to Carlisle


	20. Reunion

**BPOV**

I got up and walked around, trying to find something that would give me a clue as to where I was, but there was nothing but furniture. There were no pictures, letters or anything that told me someone lived here. But they had to, otherwise, how did I get here? _Who_ brought me here? Is what I should be asking myself, not how I got in.

I heard footsteps approaching and looked for somewhere to hide. It was my first instinct, just in case the person in the room was a rapist or a killer, though if he wanted to do something to me, he could've already done so. I don't know why I assumed it was a guy, but they normally were. I ducked behind the sofa just as the door opened.

From where I was, I could slightly make out their shape in the light from the place they had come in from. I doubted they could see me in my hiding place but I didn't dare move. I saw their hand go up and suddenly, light flooded the room.

I jumped from where I was and threw myself into Jasper's arms before remembering the way we had parted._ He had tried to kill me. I should be afraid of him._ I should not be hugging him. I released him from my embrace and stepped back with careful steps so that I didn't set him off.

"Bella," he chuckled, "it's ok, I don't need human blood anymore. It is no longer an object of temptation. You are safe."

I wanted to believe him, but I couldn't. I just couldn't forget that he tried to kill me and I guessed he sensed that as he sighed.

"Look," he began, "I know you can't forget what happened, and neither can I. Every time I think about the way I behaved, I want to die. I was a monster, I behaved like one too, and for that, I apologise from the bottom of my heart. Can you forgive me Bella?"

He sounded so torn up and sincere. There was no way I couldn't forgive him. I understood that he had little control over his urges then and was glad he was more like the others now. I stepped closer to him still slightly wary but all that was washed away when he hugged me tightly.

I let myself cry the tears that I had been holding for so long. I hadn't had a chance to say goodbye to any of the Cullens when they left and I missed all of them. Even though Edward hurt me, I would take him back in a second, I still loved him. I was waiting for one of the others to step out and join in with the reunion but when no one did my hopes fell a little.

"Where are the others?" I asked, still kidding myself when I just knew that they weren't here. Jasper looked torn again, this time with the indecision as to whether or not to tell me where the rest of his family were. His look made me worry.

I knew that Alice would never intentionally leave him so something must have happened. Was there an accident? Did other vampires attack them? Just picturing Esme's still body made me want to cry again.

"Bella," he began slowly, "after I attacked you, I ran from the house because I knew that Edward would kill me for trying to hurt you. I haven't seen the others since then and I don't know where or how to find them. I was never good at locating people, Edward and Alice always used to do that."

He looked pained as he said her name. I could tell that he still loved her and I wanted to help them find them but how would I know where to start?

**EPOV**

By the time I got too Carlisle's house, it was almost midnight. I could him and Esme talking, their voices were worried and excited as if something big were about to happen. I knocked softly on the door knowing they'd hear. Their talking ceased immediately and footsteps came towards the door. I knew they knew it was me, they'd probably known for a while but refused to acknowledge my presence until I knocked.

I could hear their thoughts, hoping that I had changed. The pictures of me that ran through their minds sickened me. How could that person that held no respect for anyone, least of all himself have been me? What the hell was I thinking of? I had thrown everything they had given me back in their faces and I was sorry. They had every right to hate me yet they didn't. Only Alice, Emmett and Rosalie despised me. Carlisle and Esme still saw me as their son and I was glad of that.

"I'm so sorry," was all I could say as Esme opened the door, Carlisle stood behind her. If I was able to cry, I would be now. My shoulders heaved at the realisation of the monster I had become. Esme stepped towards me and hugged me, rubbing my back and telling me that it would be ok.

I doubted that because I had messed up so badly, but I allowed myself to be comforted by the thought that maybe, if I worked hard enough, it would be almost ok. I needed to right all my wrongs and this was the place to start.

**APOV**

As we entered Seattle, the smell of wet dog filled the air. There were no dogs anywhere and as far as I knew, it hadn't rained for over a week in Seattle. I was wary of my surroundings as I entered, checking every shadow and alley that could hide the owner of the stench. As we passed La Bella Italia, something shot out and stopped in front of us. In the corner of my eye I could see Emmett brace him for a fight and Rosalie unbuckle her jacket so it wouldn't be ruined if there was a fight.


End file.
